Speaker 1
Good to Saturday morning to everybody. Welcome to your next chapter, a production of Avery Heights Senior Living Community. Avery Heights, they are a 43 acre senior living community with a full continuum of care, including independent and assisted living, memory care, and a whole lot more.

Speaker 1
Now, this show provides helpful tips and resources for older adults that will empower and encourage you in your life journey. Now, from topics related from physical to emotional health, financial health, senior living communities, and a whole lot more. Along with Siobhan Mattingly, I’m Gary Byron.

Speaker 1
Siobhan, what’s going on? How are you this morning? I’m good. How are you?

Speaker 1
I’m not doing too shabby. Nice to see you. Yeah, good to see you.

Speaker 1
Thank you. It’s nice to be seen. How was your week?

Speaker 2
It was good. It was good. It was good.

Speaker 1
What have you been up to?

Speaker 2
I’ve been working out a lot. Yeah.

Speaker 1
Really?

Speaker 2
Yeah. I’ve been working out five days a week. Five days a week.

Speaker 1
At a gym?

Speaker 2
At a gym. We have a gym at Avery Heights.

Speaker 1
For everybody? For everybody.

Speaker 2
Yeah. The residents and the staff. And it’s really good.

Speaker 2
It’s got all the equipment, free weights. It’s got the little Fosu ball and all sorts of stuff. Yeah.

Speaker 2
It makes it very convenient right down the hall.

Speaker 1
It’s open all day.

Speaker 2
All day. Yep. look at that

Speaker 1
why am I not surprised? Avery Heights has everything

Speaker 2
yes, yes, that’s pretty cool we have a personal trainer there too Mark, he’s been there for a million years, I think he’s been there at least 16 years and he does a great job he customizes, it’s good for anybody really, but people that have had a stroke or even Parkinson’s and different things that affect your mobility he customizes their plan, their fitness plan, and yeah, he does a great job has got a huge huge following at Avery Heights he also does the classes a lot of exercise classes

Speaker 1
he does as well group classes how where does he how would he know what’s good for one person as opposed to like how does he get somebody on a program that’s different from right you know

Speaker 2
somebody else’s so he’s trained specifically in for senior living so yeah he works actually also at the West Hartford Senior Center in Elmwood and the one in Bishop’s Corner. So he’s been doing this for years. And so he’s specifically trained in this.

Speaker 2
He’s not just kind of a personal trainer. He’s kind of trained in it. I don’t know why I keep doing that.

Speaker 2
It’s a good thing it’s not visual. That’s it. You’re lifting weights.

Speaker 2
I’m flexing here. You’re flexing.

Speaker 1
You’re showing off your muscles. Talk about all the workouts that you’ve been doing.

Speaker 2
Exactly. But it’s been great.

Speaker 1
What’s your favorite type of – when you like to work out, do you work out on weights? Do you do a lot of cardio?

Speaker 2
I do all of it. Yeah. Free weights, the machines, and cardio.

Speaker 2
This new machine, it’s like an elliptical machine, but it does like specifically for your legs and your glutes. I love it. I love it.

Speaker 2
Yeah, that’s my favorite. And the row machine. Those are my two favorite.

Speaker 1
The row machine, like your own boat? Yeah, the row machine.

Speaker 2
Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah, the rower.

Speaker 2
Yeah. It’s a lot, though. You have to – I think I can remember her name.

Speaker 2
She’s a motivational speaker. I think her first name is Meg. But she talks about the five-second rule.

Speaker 2
So you have to like –

Speaker 1
That’s not about dropping something on the floor, right?

Speaker 2
No, I know, right? No. Five seconds. She has a new twist to it.

Speaker 1
Oh.

Speaker 2
Yes. So you have to like go in that five seconds. And so for me, like yesterday is a good example.

Speaker 2
I like to work out in the morning. I like to get it done and I always want to go. But it’s like last night I was like doing a million things and I was just like I need to go to the gym.

Speaker 2
Like you can’t miss the day. Your scheduled days. Sure.

Speaker 2
And so I went at like 7 o’clock at night and it was that five second rule where you got to go. If you don’t go in that five seconds, you’ll make a million excuses and you won’t go. so I was fascinated as I was on the elliptical machine I was like I am at the gym right now how did this happen how did this happen but I did it I did it you’re right yeah yeah that five second rule and we have a pool I got to mention the pool too we have a full-size pool yeah an indoor indoor pool indoor pool it’s beautiful it’s actually donated uh by one of our families um a resident who passed who uh family donated love to swim um and it’s a huge pool I don’t know if it’s olympic size i don’t know whether i want to say olympic size but it’s a huge pool i mean you can do laps it’s got the whole you know three feet four feet six feet type of thing um they do lessons um you can do exercise classes they do the water aerobics and different classes great exercise yeah and they have the open swim as well and people can come from the outside to the pool also like friends and family yep yep yep they were you know with covid obviously they were restricting that but now they can come in they can have a membership uh to the pool yeah what don’t you have at Avery? I know. That’s what I love. That’s why I’m so blessed to work there.

Speaker 2
You really are. It was my dream job because they definitely answer all the senior living questions. Folks,

Speaker 1
moving into a senior living community, it could be a huge adventure. You’re packing up a lifetime of stuff to start over in a place where, well, where are the people? There’s people. There’s new culture. There’s a lot of stuff. A lot of stuff is just different.

Speaker 1
Not necessarily better, not necessarily worse, just different. And how do you know you’re going to like something unless you try it or you’re exposed to it? Yet thousands of Americans, they make the move to senior living communities or assisted living residents each year.

Speaker 1
Often they are seeking not just a more relaxing or simplified lifestyle, possibly reliable medical support, but also life with new friends, companions, socialization that they weren’t quite getting at home, which has made their, really their previous decades rich and enjoyable. You know, to that point, neighborhoods age out.

Speaker 2
Yes.

Speaker 1
You know, where you see the life cycle. You know, what reminds me of this is not too long ago, I was in, at the time, My mother grew up in Wethersfield and I was in the neighborhood where my mother grew up in. And when I was a kid, this was everybody around there was old.

Speaker 1
The neighbor on the right side, the neighbor on the left side, two houses down, across the street, around the block. I equated, this is a child brain, by the way. This is back when I was like in single digits, seven, eight, nine years old.

Speaker 1
I just thought this neighborhood was for senior citizens. It was for old people. And my mother used to laugh at that.

Speaker 1
I said, no, that’s just how it is right now. And then what will happen is as people age out and there’ll be new people that will come in. But when you’re one of the few remaining seniors of that neighborhood and you miss Marge next door, who we used to chat with, but she’s passed on.

Speaker 1
And you missed somebody else who’s moved away and maybe lives with their family somewhere or moved out of state. Or you all have all these younger neighbors. Oh, it might be very nice.

Speaker 1
Yeah. But you’ve got not much in common with them. Right.

Speaker 1
You know? Right. And when you want to have conversation, you know, remember that show we used to?

Speaker 1
Oh, no. That’s way bigger. I never, Jack Benny, never heard of him. You never heard of him.

Speaker 1
Oh, my goodness. No. And it’s, remember Arthur Godfrey Hour? And it’s, no, never heard of him.

Speaker 1
Really. And it’s kind of funny in some ways. But when you have nobody that is relatable to you, that in itself can be sad.

Speaker 1
Or sometimes you just like to be with, I don’t even necessarily want to say like-minded people. You don’t have to have necessarily a ton in common. But you lived in a certain era where when you hear a song or see a movie, it takes you back to when that song was the current hit or when that movie.

Speaker 1
I remember seeing this movie and so was I. It’s great. It is nice. Because that’ll help you.

Speaker 1
don’t even necessarily know that person’s name up front. But when you start to have this conversation, I remember I was, I saw that on an afternoon matinee and now you’re talking with somebody.

Speaker 2
Exactly.

Speaker 1
And then that gets translated to the dining area. And then that gets translated to, well, we’ll have to meet back up here tomorrow. And then we can play cards next week.

Speaker 1
And then we’ll have to sit out and have tea or coffee under the tree. It’s organic. And how you create these relationships, friendships, really.

Speaker 2
Yeah. And the friendships are so nice to see. Right outside my office now, we’ve started this little area. They’re renovating it. It used to be a cafe. And again, with COVID, they had to change it up.

Speaker 2
It was like a self-serve cafe. And so now they’ve made it into a little social area. So there’s a couch, there’s a nice little coffee table, and then there’s all these chairs. And we had to bring more chairs for that area. And so it’s women, it’s men, and at a certain time, like around like three o’clock, they all kind of gather there. And it’s neat. And you hear laughing and they’re talking and there is music sometimes playing. It’s really nice to see. It’s, you know, it’s just, it’s what it’s all

Speaker 1
about in terms of seeing your living, that friendship, that life. I think it adds more life to you. I think it adds more years to you. Oh yeah, socialization is super important.

Speaker 1
Super important. And we’ve talked about loneliness. In fact, just a few weeks ago, we talked about loneliness on this show and the sad statistics that have really intensified because of COVID, which as we all know, has caused tons of isolation and increased loneliness among our older adults.

Speaker 1
But how is being alone and isolated, Siobhan, how is that hurting our senior population?

Speaker 2
Well, definitely anyone that has dementia or Alzheimer’s, it definitely makes it worse. If you’re sitting around just watching TV and you’ve been diagnosed with dementia or Alzheimer’s, it can increase that. It can, you know, you’re just, you’re not using your brain cells.

Speaker 2
You’re not being stimulated. You’re not having any excitement or any interaction. And it can really, we’ve seen many people go from, they’re like, how did my loved one, you know, decline so quickly?

Speaker 2
They were, you know, maybe early or mid-stages. And all of a sudden, they’re already in almost like late stages mannerisms or behaviors. And so we’ve seen that a lot.

Speaker 2
You know, people that come to our memory care. And we’ve been able to kind of help with that. Kind of, you know, the other day we had a resident that just came back in May.

Speaker 2
Lovely, lovely lady. She was playing the piano the other day. We didn’t even know, you know, that she played the piano. And I looked over and I’m like, and she’s, I mean, she’s playing the piano. She wasn’t just kind of doing chopsticks or something. She was, yeah. And so, you know, it’s important, you know, anyone diagnosed with that, that isolation is just brutal to anyone diagnosed with that.

Speaker 2
Anyone that has like cancer or any kind of ailment like that, they’re not being treated properly or it’s not being diagnosed quick enough because a lot of older adults aren’t going to the doctor properly or they weren’t going to the doctor properly at least these last couple of years. And so now they’re going in and they’ve got a pain here. I had one lady, she had, she thought she had fell on the ice.

Speaker 2
She went to the doctor, thought it was a lot of pain, thought it was, you know, oh, she fell on the ice. She had cancer and she was in terminal cancer, you know, and this was something that could have been caught early, but she hadn’t been to the doctor. And so finally she got to the doctor and it was like weird that, you know, what was going on with that the fall.

Speaker 2
And they and she got diagnosed with cancer and the husband was just devastated.

Speaker 1
So living in a senior living community, it really can help.

Speaker 2
Yeah.

Speaker 1
Yeah. I’m just listening to you.

Speaker 2
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, if you’re, you know, you know, doctor’s appointments, we have medical transportation to get you to those doctor’s appointments.

Speaker 2
So you can, you know, make sure you can make it there. So you’re not, you know, not going there. You know, bad diets.

Speaker 2
I mean, people are eating horribly and probably older adults were not eating the best if they’re left to themselves before. But now it’s even worse because, you know, now they’re not going to the senior center. They’re not, you know, they’re not, they’re afraid to take in sometimes that meals on wheels.

Speaker 2
You know, what if someone touched it that has, that has COVID and then depression, suicide, medication taken wrong I mean that is the worst I mean you see people you know that table of medication and they’re taking you know one person was saying that their loved one took Benadryl three times in one day and she couldn’t understand and she was starting to fall and she was sluggish well you’re taking Benadryl I mean Benadryl wipes me out and if you’re taking it incorrectly it can

Speaker 1
be very detrimental you mentioned a couple of times already falling over yeah you know falls yeah yeah if you’re living alone yep and you fall over now it’s one thing if you’ve got a phone right

Speaker 2
next or the monitors the another fall oh i can’t get up right but okay so from the same generation

Speaker 1
who doesn’t remember that commercial that that was more than a commercial that’s marketing right pop culture exactly the 80s yep yep um no but to that point you know it’s okay so if you’re living and you have that monitor, which is a good thing. But I don’t want any stretch of the imagination when I ever discourage anybody from wearing that. It certainly is a lifesaver. But it would take the other person on the other side of that monitor to make some phone calls. There’s still precious time.

Speaker 2
Yes, yes.

Speaker 1
And now if you don’t have that monitor and you fall over, you hope you’re falling next to your phone. My goodness, because how else is anybody going to know that you fall over?

Speaker 2
There are stories.

Speaker 1
You probably have heard them

Speaker 2
where people are in the house for days, hours. And they, you know, they’re just, they can’t, and luckily someone comes to visit or someone comes over and that person was on the floor for hours. And obviously, you know, that’s not good, you know.

Speaker 1
Yeah, but if you’re in a senior living facility.

Speaker 2
Well, there are safety checks. There are safety checks.

Speaker 1
There we go.

Speaker 2
Yeah, yeah. And then also there’s safety, we have other, for our independent living folks, we have safety checks for them. So they don’t come to, you know, dining or, you know, we have a little tag that we have at the top of the door.

Speaker 2
And if that tag is not moved by like a certain time in the morning, the staff goes around and checks those. And if that’s not moved, meaning they haven’t left their apartment, we’ll check on them. Because obviously if they’re independent, we can’t be overly intrusive.

Speaker 2
But we do have that check system to make sure that obviously they’re coming out and things are okay.

Speaker 1
How often is that? A couple times a day?

Speaker 2
Yeah. They have, yeah. They check that, yeah. Every morning they go out and check to make sure those tags are moved. And then the security puts them up every evening.

Speaker 1
That’s what I’m talking about. At home, you don’t have that.

Speaker 2
No. And if you’re in assisted living, you could be on a program where you can get checks every hour. And some people need that. Some people really need to be checked on.

Speaker 1
How often do people transition from your cottage, which is more independent living, to the more, I guess, more you’re looked at? You go to independent.

Speaker 2
So you can be out in the cottages, which is almost like living in a little house. They’re adorable. And then you can come inside to an independent apartment.

Speaker 2
And then your next step would be assisted living, memory care. And then obviously we have the skilled as well. So those transitions are happening all the time, all the time.

Speaker 1
They start in one area.

Speaker 2
Yep. And some people have been in the cottages for years. I mean, you know, 10, 12 years.

Speaker 2
Yeah. And then some people, they’ll come inside. And we had one resident, we had a social yesterday, and he’s been there 16 years and started out in the cottages.

Speaker 2
Now he’s an independent resident. And, you know, people like it. It becomes their home and it has a nice continuum of care.

Speaker 2
You don’t have to make several moves. Because as an older adult, and even just myself or yourself, it’s hard to keep moving. I mean, our brains, I believe, are different.

Speaker 2
Like for me, I mean, I can move around a little bit. But older adults, especially if you have Alzheimer’s dementia, moving around like that can be extremely detrimental.

Speaker 1
Success stories. You must have witnessed a ton.

Speaker 2
Yeah, yeah. I’ve got some good ones. One of them was a lady who moved in.

Speaker 2
Just two ladies, actually. One of them, very angry. she was at home by herself. She had diabetes, unfortunately. So she couldn’t, the insulin wasn’t working out. So the family moved her in. She didn’t want to move in. The other one, same thing. She didn’t want to move in. She had problems with her mobility. Neither one of them wanted to be there. They’re very like, ah, one of them was, and I just don’t pay attention. I peel back there and I don’t pay attention to that. One of them was in the army. And she even apologized to me. She goes, you know, I was a, you know, a sergeant in the army and, you know, forgive me if I come off a little harsh.

Speaker 2
And I was like, okay. Well, somewhere in there, those two met at activities and functions and became best friends. I mean, and it was so cool to see.

Speaker 2
I would go by the apartment, walk by, and I love Days of Our Lives. And I hear, you know, the hourglass, you know. Like sands for the hourglass.

Speaker 2
And so I started going in, and they loved me. They were so nice to me. I’d go in, and they were like, you know, they always said, we don’t like the rest of the people here.

Speaker 2
But they liked me. But I would go in and I would sit with them sometimes. And it’s the same characters, Bo and Hope.

Speaker 2
Hope and Victor Cariakis. Yeah, it’s the same people. Patch, is Patch still there?

Speaker 2
I think, yes. And he, I don’t think he has the Patch anymore though. Well, Patch doesn’t have the Patch?

Speaker 2
He lost the Patch, yeah.

Speaker 1
And is it Bo with the dark hair and the beard?

Speaker 2
Is it still the same guy? Peter Rickle or something like that? It’s hysterical.

Speaker 2
So I could just jump right in. I didn’t have to, you know, some new characters, obviously. So, but it was just so neat to see these two women have friendships.

Speaker 2
And then they were at crafts and activities and everything. And that, to me, I never saw that coming. I mean, the goal with them is for them to be safe, obviously, medically get what they needed.

Speaker 2
I never saw a friendship coming there. So that was a really, really cool story. Another one was a lady at a place.

Speaker 2
She came in on hospice. She literally came wheeled in. I mean, I met her looking over her.

Speaker 2
She was in the bed, and they didn’t think it was going to be long. They thought, you know, she ended up reviving and just became a socialite of the community. She had, and she was like from New York.

Speaker 2
So she had all the hats and she was at everything. So that was a good one as well. And another one, similar situation.

Speaker 2
Tell me, tell me. I love, I really do love this. I love this.

Speaker 2
This is why I do what I do. This one gentleman, he was at a rehab and we went to go. The family wanted us to go.

Speaker 2
It was the daughter-in-law who was amazing. We went to go see him. He was laying in bed and he kept on saying how he wanted to die.

Speaker 2
It was the saddest thing in the world. So it was a tough one because we had to bring him in. We had to bring him in with additional support, which we do have.

Speaker 2
We do have private duty can come in and kind of be that additional support. And it was so funny. I was looking for him in the community because I always like to go say hi.

Speaker 2
So clearly I’m going to go up to the apartment. This guy is not going to be downstairs. I’m running everywhere.

Speaker 2
All of a sudden, oh, he’s in the dining room. I’m like, no, he’s not. But he was in the dining room sitting there dressed, and he went to everything.

Speaker 2
He only lived for six months. But the family, I remember crying with them because they were like, you know what? It was only six months, but it was the best six months of his life.

Speaker 2
And so those are the stories that for me, it just warms my heart that we could flip that switch and make that change.

Speaker 1
How do you, I don’t know if this is the right show or episode of the show for that, but maybe I’ll just touch upon it and we can maybe dedicate another show to it. But when you grow attached to these people and they become part of your everyday. Yes.

Speaker 1
Hey, there’s Gladys. And hey, there’s Judy. Yeah.

Speaker 1
You just what sparked this is you mentioned hospice care and person lasted six months. And sadly, you grow attached to these people. Yes.

Speaker 1
And you see them kind of deteriorate in front of your eyes. Yes. After you’ve already formed a bond or a relationship with them.

Speaker 1
How do you work with that? How do you deal with that?

Speaker 2
I think I learned a long time ago because I was in hospice for about five years. And I think what I learned, and my first week there they did an in-service and it was amazing. And it was the chaplain that did it.

Speaker 2
And what he taught me is that it’s not about me. And I really needed to hear that like day one or day two I think it was of my time there. And we come into these folks live at a certain time for a reason.

Speaker 2
And so it’s not, if I’m sitting there, and I was crying with this family, but it was like almost allowed at that point. But it wasn’t like if she started consoling me, then that’s wrong. It was more like a happy cry.

Speaker 2
But it’s not about me to kind of get in there and be upset or emotional.

Speaker 1
But we’re human beings. We are. And I’m sorry, but if you don’t get emotionally attached to – I’m not saying you should be sobbing with the family.

Speaker 1
Right. Because they want to expect a level of professionalism, of course. But how do you – in a quiet moment, how do you keep it together?

Speaker 2
That’s what you do. That’s what you do. You kind of – I remember I’ve had several actually.

Speaker 2
you know a wonderful gentleman he was an architect and I found out later he was the first architect black architect in Boston had no idea about that amazing guy another one came in on hospice and he wasn’t with us for very long but he made an imprint on that on the community and he passed away and that’s what you do you really go I go in the stairwell I go in my office I shut the door and I have that cry and then I go back out and I and I and I help the family and to me it’s a gift to have those relationships. I mean, these are just amazing people. And the stories, we had this one guy, he was from Cuba and he used to like dance through the hallway.

Speaker 2
And the music was so loud, but no, but the residents in mind, it was one of those things where they were like, tell him to shut that off because he would like dance to the community. Another gentleman, unfortunately on hospice, but just a great guy. And as you can see, like the imprint in my life.

Speaker 2
And so to me, that’s a blessing, even though I only knew them for a short period of time. that relationship has meant everything to me and it informs who I am well sure

Speaker 1
I can tell folks you are listening to your next chapter a production of Avery Heights Senior Living Community along with Siobhan Mattingly I’m Gary Byron are there tips that you could offer someone to I don’t know make friends I guess yeah

Speaker 2
well first off I want to say it’s normal to be nervous but I think it’s important and I always try to tell them to make it an exciting adventure. So the first thing I would say is definitely ask for help. But that’s easier for

Speaker 1
some people than others, right? It is. It is. But like I told you about those two ladies. Right,

Speaker 2
right. You know, there’s, there’s some, there’s someone for everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, there’s, you know, we have over like 100 plus residents. So there’s somebody in there that you’re going to connect with. And the first thing, like I said, is to just to ask for help. You know, the family can ask for help or you can ask for help. You know, take, take on the new stuff. Don’t, Don’t be closed-minded.

Speaker 2
You know, do the painting, do the writing, do the theater, do the knitting, do the singing. Don’t go, oh, I never liked that in my life. Because you would be amazed at how many talents that come out later on in life.

Speaker 2
You would see paintings that we have that are up on the wall and you’re like, oh, who did that? And it’s like someone, oh, did she paint, you know, in college or never even maybe touch the paintbrush when they were in kindergarten or something. You would be amazed at the talent that comes out.

Speaker 2
So I would just go for it. Be open-minded. Say hello to folks when you’re in the hallway.

Speaker 2
Definitely do your meals. Do the meals in the dining room. That’s key.

Speaker 2
That’s socialization. Some folks leave their doors open, you know, so that people can, yeah, people walk by and it invites people in. You know, be a good listener, you know, and just find the other new residents.

Speaker 2
And we help to do that. We help facilitate for folks to find the new residents.

Speaker 1
I was going to say, like, what if that stuff, what if it’s just not working?

Speaker 2
Yeah. Well, we have meetings every week. We have what we call our risk management meetings.

Speaker 2
And that includes talking about people that are not coming out or struggling socially. And so our life enrichment director, which is our activities director, she’s involved in that. Our social worker, our social worker does an orientation with all of our residents and the residents’ families.

Speaker 2
She does a comprehensive questionnaire, what they like, how they like it. How do you want your activities counted? How do you want this?

Speaker 2
How do you want to meet people? She does a comprehensive of that. She walks them around the community.

Speaker 2
The front desk receptionists are amazing at connecting people as well. They’re the hub. They know everything.

Speaker 2
Yeah. And so there’s a lot of people that get involved, and we don’t stop getting involved either. I mean, we’re always doing – So there’s a plan.

Speaker 1
You have programs in place. There’s always a plan. And it really sounds like everybody at Avery Heights is involved in helping people break that ice.

Speaker 2
And the director is amazing too. Bill has been with the organization for like 30 years. And so he seems to know everything about all the residents, and he’s good about engaging, walking around.

Speaker 2
He actually goes out to the cottages, especially during the summer when it gets really, really hot. And he goes around with water or lemonade and iced tea and delivers it to them and sits and talks with them and makes sure he engages with all the residents. So he’s not just kind of sitting up in his office, you know, pointing at people.

Speaker 2
And so and that’s another thing, too. And that engagement, he’ll, you know, he’ll be like, oh, oh, you like, oh, you know, so-and-so just got a kitten. You know, he kind of like kind of like brings everybody into the pool.

Speaker 1
OK, but what about family members now?

Speaker 2
Yeah.

Speaker 1
What can they do to help a loved one, let’s say, connect their, not only just socializing with people there, but just connecting to their new environment of senior leader?

Speaker 2
I think the main thing they can do is don’t be pushy and don’t be judgy. Oh, you didn’t go to the theater group this week or you didn’t go. You know, don’t be pushy.

Speaker 2
Don’t be judgy. You know, give them space. Listen to them.

Speaker 2
Let them talk. Let them kind of, you know, talk about why they’re not doing it. You know, be open-minded as well.

Speaker 2
I don’t know how many tours I do with people and I’ll be talking about the various activities. oh, we have a pool. Oh, mom would never swim. You know, and I don’t know how many times that exact same person is floating around in the pool. It’s like, be open-minded. Allow your loved one, your mom or your dad to be something else because they can be something else. Maybe they never swim because they didn’t have time. Maybe they were raising the kids and cooking and cleaning and doing whatever, working a job, and they didn’t have time to be, you know, in a knitting group or, you know, painting or whatever these things may be, or working out. How many times I take people by the gym. Oh, mom would never work out. Well, you don’t know that. So don’t, don’t put them in that box. Um, you know, and again, be understanding, um, it’s scary and be supportive. Don’t, don’t push so much. A lot of times family members are like, mom, you like bingo, you should go. And it’s like, you know what, maybe she should go, but relax a little bit and show up, show up. Like, like, um, we had our earlier episode this past week where we were talking about dining, show up.

Speaker 2
You can come to the dining room anytime, have a function in the private dining room, but everybody

Speaker 1
engages at their own pace. Yes. You know, just because one person’s more advanced and more outgoing. They were probably more outgoing as an adult. Exactly. And some people are slower to adapt. Exactly. But that doesn’t mean that they won’t. They just want to do it at their own pace.

Speaker 2
And it’s pretty neat. We had this one new resident that came in and the family was very concerned and calling all the time. And oh, he’s not in his apartment. It’s like, he’s not in his apartment because he’s in the library reading the newspaper. And they’re like, oh, well, we want to talk to him. I’m like, let him read the newspaper. You know, let him engage.

Speaker 2
Let him build his new life. I understand your concern. That’s great.

Speaker 2
But you don’t have to talk to him right now. Don’t make him go back to his apartment so you can have a phone call. Let him read the newspaper in the library.

Speaker 2
So it’s almost like, you know, your kids. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1
Folks, you have been listening to the latest edition of your next chapter, Senior Living, with Avery Heights. Now, for more information on today’s topic, making friends in a senior living community, please call 866-537-1444. Again, it’s 866-537-1444.

Speaker 1
Now, the first three callers right now, you’re going to get a special lunch and tour at Avery Heights. So let me give you that number one more time. I want you to call right now.

Speaker 1
It’s 866-537-1444. All right, so dial right now, and you’ll get a free special lunch and tour. Great show.

Speaker 1
Really, I’m serious, Siobhan. This was really good. Talk about assimilating yourself into a new environment.

Speaker 1
It can be intimidating for some, but you go at your own pace. I want to thank you again for the wonderful resource that you are for Avery Heights. For Siobhan Mattingly, I’m Gary Byron.

Speaker 1
Thank you so much for listening to your next chapter. Until next Saturday morning, have a good one, everybody. So long.

Speaker 1
Legenda Adriana Zanotto