Speaker 1
Good Saturday morning to everybody. Welcome to your next chapter of Senior Living brought to you by Avery Heights, along with Siobhan, Siobhan Mattingly. I’m Gary Byron.

You know, we talk a lot about senior living on this show, and I figured we would spend a little bit of time this morning talking about the blue zones in senior living, which they’re kind of areas in the world where people age gracefully, right? They live happy and whole lives throughout their aging years. Now, in this episode of your next chapter, we will explore the blue zones and show how living in a senior living community can give you all the advantages of healthy blue zone living.

Good morning, Siobhan. Good morning.

Speaker 2
It’s nice to see you. How are you? I am great.

Speaker 1
How has your week been?

Speaker 2
It’s been good. It’s been good. Lots going on. Busy, busy. Well, good.

Speaker 1
Is there a time before we get into the nitty gritty of this of this episode is this may sound like a kind of weird question because, I mean. People have birthdays year round and people they travel year round. But is there is there a certain time of year that you seem to notice an uptick of people looking into senior living?

Speaker 2
Definitely. Yeah. After the holidays, any holiday, really.

Really? Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, anything, you know, definitely Christmas, Thanksgiving. The weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas are just very busy because a lot of people go home.

They haven’t seen mom or dad or their loved one in a long time. And all of a sudden they go home and they’re like, oh, my gosh, you know, whatever the house may look like. Again, we talked about hoarding in the last episode.

And, you know, they call and they go, you know, I went home and mom, you know, barely recognized me or she was wearing the same clothes for three days or she’s not eating properly. And so that’s really and then Christmas and the New Year’s. Those are the busiest times. And then after that would be, again, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day.

Anytime when people are going home for those big gatherings, that’s when we have an uptick because people realize that their loved ones, they’re going back to wherever, you know, Texas, Arizona, California. and they realize, oh my gosh, I can’t leave mom or dad alone anymore. And yeah, so that’s kind of our busy time.

Speaker 1
I would imagine you’d notice that if, let’s say someone lived locally, and they would see mom or dad every so often and say, hey, we have the holidays here, why don’t you come and spend a few days or a week with us? Because we got the week off from work so we can spend every day with each other. And I would imagine the quality of care, it goes from a professional quality of care over at Avery Heights into, well, I’m going to spend a few days, you know, they’re going to spend a few days with their kids.

And let’s face it, even though you’re physically home with your mom or dad and caring for them, that’s not what they’re training. That’s not what their background is. So they’re actually getting, really, with all due respect to the kids, I shouldn’t say kids, but the children of these seniors who end up going into senior living, they’re just not qualified.

Speaker 2
No. And that’s a really good point that you make. It’s like, you know, when people say, well, you know, I can’t get my mom to eat or I can’t get my mom to do this or that. And especially if they have dementia or Alzheimer’s or any kind of compromise like that, you know, and I always say to them, it’s different when the professionals are doing it.

because they know how to talk to them. They have the experience. First of all, they get to know them. They have a different, you know, they get to have a relationship with them, almost like a friendship. And then they might say, hey, how about a sandwich? You know, and so there’s a way that it can be done. And you’re right. Trying to, as an adult child, especially with so much we have to do, even if you’re retired, you still have so much life that you have to live. Trying to care for your loved ones, especially properly, is almost can be detrimental to them, especially if they have an underlying element that’s involved.

Speaker 1
I’m going to bring up a scenario to you and you let me know if this is typical or atypical. Son and daughter bring their mom or dad doesn’t make any difference. Their parent into senior living.

Every Heights. And the parent isn’t looking forward to it as much as the kids are. It takes a lot of the burden of caring for their mom or dad off of them and into professional hands.

But the parent isn’t looking forward to it as much. They’re kind of going reluctantly. And then after, I don’t know, a few weeks to assimilate themselves and get used to the routine, they’re happier than they’ve been in a long time.

In other words, do you ever take a kid kicking and screaming somewhere? They’re like, no, boss! First day of kindergarten.

They’re kicking and screaming, no. And after a couple of weeks, they’re like, no, I have my new friends. I love my teacher. I mean, I don’t want to say how cyclical.

We can have another whole show on that. Oh, very much so. But is that a typical scenario?

Speaker 2
And it’s like the light comes on. And all of a sudden, it’s almost like they’re brighter. Their skin even looks brighter.

And they just look better. They’re sitting up. I just had a new person that moved in.

I think it was like May. And she’s amazing. um bright lady she was a teacher um and unfortunately you know she has some compromises and i went to go see her at her apartment and she was just sitting up and then she was just talking about all the things she was going to do and this one’s nice and that one’s nice and oh i’m going to dinner and you know um it does it’s just like again we like we talked about on the last show they just they get a life you know they they have that that next chapter and it is beautiful uh to see and You’re right.

Once they get assimilated, once – like you said, change is so challenging.

Speaker 1
At any age. At any age.

Speaker 2
But really for – I truly believe the generation that people who are 80, 90, 100 right now, it’s really hard for change because it’s – I mean think about it. I mean we’re talking about people that maybe have been around for both wars, the big wars, the Korean War. They went through presidents.

They went through fax machines to Walkmans to iPods to iPhones. That’s a lot. I mean, for me, I went, you know, maybe I was like the transistor radio to now.

So, you know, it’s a little challenging. But for them to go from sitting around a radio to probably color television, I mean, that’s a lot. And so change is challenging.

And they want to stay in their home. And I totally understand that. I would always say, you know, try to do like a respite stay, kind of give it a try.

You know, you could do a 30 to 60 day respite stay. And normally after that stay, you know, we have a lady right now who’s moved, you know, she did the respite and she’s moving in. And it’s really because it’s that fear of what is it.

Speaker 1
We all have that.

Speaker 2
Yes. Because most older adults also, they dealt with what we call now skilled nursing home. And it’s not – I mean skilled nursing home is, you know, that’s when you’re, you know, your health, you need to be there for rehab or what have you.

But assisted living and independent living is completely different from that. That’s literally, you know, like almost living in an apartment, a really nice apartment with meals and housekeeping and or like being on a cruise. You know, and I don’t think a lot of times those older adults don’t know that.

They went to visit grandma or their parents or whatever in the skilled nursing home. And sometimes there’s that fear of that’s where they’re going. Again, not that skilled nursing homes are horrible, but it’s obviously it’s different from being in an apartment or being on a cruise.

And so I think that that’s, you know, it’s just that fear. And so always, it’s always good to just give it a try. And I think for the adult child, the main thing is to keep that positive outlook too.

You know, we can reflect on to our parents our thoughts. You know, it’s like, oh, she’s never going to go for it. And if you go in thinking that instead of saying, hey, mom, we’re going to give this a try and keep that light and airy instead of deflecting onto them, you know, you’re never going to do this.

Or I’ve had – I’ve done tours where people are in the apartment and mom’s like, yeah, this is nice. And the child is like, are you sure? Are you sure?

Are you sure? By the third, are you sure? The mother’s like, I don’t know.

Am I sure? And it’s like once you get that yes, run.

Speaker 1
And I’ll bet it doesn’t even take 60 days. No. I’ll bet 30 days is – A couple of weeks.

Speaker 2
Normally a couple of weeks of just being around people, talking, being around your peers, being – we had a production of Wizard of Oz the other day. It was neat. And they were dressed.

They had masks. Oh, my goodness. Oh, full Dorothy.

Oh, my gosh. When I saw Dorothy with the dress, the shoes, the pigtails, and these are older adults. We have a theater club at Avery Heights.

And they did a reading of Wizard of Oz. You had the lion, the scarecrow. It’s on Facebook if you want to check it out on our Avery Heights Facebook.

And it was amazing. So to be able to sit there. And this lady that I’m talking about, she was in a theater group back when she was younger.

And so for her to sit there and watch a production, all she has to do is go downstairs to watch a production. She doesn’t have to go out. She doesn’t have to get in a car.

She doesn’t just go downstairs and see this, especially seeing people that she knows all dressed up. It was fun. And it was packed.

That room, we had to go upstairs and get more chairs. It was so packed.

Speaker 1
I love hearing stories like that. You know, at the beginning, I was talking about these blue zones. Yes.

All right. So what’s the backstory first? Let’s cover that.

What’s the backstory of these blue zones?

Speaker 2
So the Blue Zones originally were way back. There was some research done in Italy. And they realized that people lived longer.

There were mainly men that lived to be what they call centurion. So that’s at over 100. And so they studied them.

Why are they living so long? And it’s not just about they were living long. They were living long and like healthy.

They were like still walking for miles. They were still, you know, talking and giving wisdom and reading and doing all the things that you and I do at our age, you know. And that’s what was the question mark.

Wait a minute. They’re not like aging. They’re still just like they’re, you know, you could look at them and maybe even think they’re in their 60s or 70s. The only way you know that they’re older is because maybe there’s a few more wrinkles and stuff like that.

And so they studied these people. And then this great guy, Dan Bittner, created two books, The Blue Zones of Happiness and The Blue Zones. The nine places where people are living and aging healthy.

And so I became fascinated with these books and I thought, hmm. I said, you know, when I start – and we’ll get into it. When we started talking about the things that these people are doing, I’m like, well, that’s what we have at Avery Heights.

So I’m like, Avery Heights is like a blue zone. I don’t think we can be designated a blue zone. There’s a whole thing you have to go through.

But there’s a few different places throughout the world. There’s some in Italy, the Greek islands. There’s some in the States, California.

Of course, in Japan and Costa Rica and all these places have various things that these people are doing to make themselves healthy.

Speaker 1
Well, OK, so let’s go there then. What makes them healthy and happier as they grow older? I love this.

Speaker 2
So they move naturally, meaning that they have – they walk to places. So if I have to go to the store, like you and I will probably get in the car. And I think you were talking earlier when we were offline about going to the big Y or whatever.

We get in the car. Well, they will walk to these places. purposeful exercise is great exercise so if you’re going to visit someone rather than walk there i often will like i live in west harford i’ll walk to blueback square to get pick something up at whole foods as opposed to always getting in the car so purposeful exercise built in naturally to your day as opposed to going to the gym is great there’s nothing wrong with going to the gym but also other exercise maybe at my job at every heights there’s stairs so rather than take the elevator, I will take the stairs. And it’s sometimes I’m five flights of stairs, I’m going up, but it’s good for me, you know, up and down the stairs, you know, so natural exercise, not necessarily always forced exercise. And again, nothing wrong with going to, you know, get your workout in the morning, but exercise throughout the day. And so they talk about, you know, also other exercise, it’s good for you, the more regular exercise would be like Tai Chi or yoga, going to the pool, obviously going to a fitness class is always great because you’re socializing. So that’s always good to do for 30 minutes to an hour a day. But also that natural exercise is really good. Purposeful living, having a purpose. One of the things I love about Avery Heights is that we have a lot of civic things that we do. So for example, the ladies, they made blankets. The knitting group made blankets for the kids at the Connecticut Children’s Medical Center. So that’s having purpose, having a reason. We have tons of committees at Avery Heights. And We have a newsletter.

That’s run by the residents. We have this theater group I was talking about. That’s run by the residents.

So all this stuff is run by them. We have a resident council. So that’s important.

We have a welcoming committee. So they have a purpose. So when they wake up in the morning, they’re not just, you know, doing these activities like, oh, I’m going to breakfast or I’m going to do this.

They actually have a reason. They have people that they’re helping. So that makes them feel like want to get up in the morning.

They’re not just doing it for themselves. There’s a wonderful nonprofit organization, which we’re hopefully going to be partnering with called For All Ages. And that’s exactly what they’re about.

They’re actually about another part is intergenerational socialization. So that’s another thing to not just communicate with your peers, but also communicate with other people, you know, young kids, preschool kids, all the teenagers, you know, maybe people in their 30s and their 40s. generational communication is super important, not just to be talking to someone who is, you know, like if I’m, I’m in my fifties. So if I’m just talking to people in their fifties, no, I want to be talking to all different types of generations.

It makes you feel alive.

Speaker 1
Well, last week, I think I was even talking to you about that. I don’t know if you remember, but I was, I was telling, I’d go out and have a cup of coffee. I talked to some senior citizens and the wisdom they have, I tell you there’s a lot that can be learned. Do you have to live in these blue zones in order to live the lifestyle?

Speaker 2
No, no, you don’t. They actually, you can, like I said, a senior living community can do it, but also in your own life. You know, some of the other ones are, you know, get rid of stress, you know, belong to a community and then, you know, putting your loved ones first and being in the right tribe. So you can do that in your life. If you have this list, there’s like nine different things. They call them the power nine in senior living. You can Google this online. If you look these up, you can add this to your life.

You know, moving naturally, like I talked about, instead of if I have to go to the Walgreens and I know that that’s right over in Elmwood, I could walk to that.

Speaker 1
Sure.

Speaker 2
You know, purpose. Make sure you’re giving back. You know, join, you know, volunteer for a nonprofit.

Hospice companies are always looking for volunteers or at the senior center or at Avery Heights. We’re always looking for volunteers as well. You know, get rid of stress in your life.

You know, if you can, you know, why are you cleaning your house? If you can afford to get a housekeeper, get a housekeeper. You can, you know, if someone says, hey, you know, we’re going to bring over some meals, let them do it.

Take the help. Get rid of that stress.

Speaker 1
How is living in a senior living community? How is it like living in the blue zone?

Speaker 2
Yeah, really just like what we were saying. So it’s the activities that are there. It’s we have that’s the socialization, the exercise.

We have all that. We have yoga and Tai Chi and strength building exercises. But also you walk naturally.

You walk naturally to the dining room. You walk naturally to the exercise classes. We have a store there. You walk naturally. And we have beautiful grounds up there, too.

The stress. We have housekeeping. We have cooking meals. We have all that.

Feeling belong. You belong to the senior living community. We have cottages there, and they call themselves the cottagers.

So now you belong to this group of people. You feel like you belong to someone.

Speaker 1
So I was going to say, it sounds like Avery Heights is already working to incorporate all of these healthy habits into the daily lives of their residents.

Speaker 2
Exactly. And that’s being part of a senior living community doesn’t mean you’re at the end. It means in some sense you’re at a new beginning.

And like we were talking about earlier, that’s when that light goes on, you know, and people do. You know, we have people that come and, you know, they have, you know, dementia or Alzheimer’s or all these things that are happening. And sometimes, you know, if they went against into a routine and get rid of that stress, because a lot of times being in the home where you live for years and raise your kids for 40, 50 years, it can be stressful because you’re looking around going, wait a minute, I’m supposed to be cooking.

Wait a minute, I’m supposed to be doing this. When you get away from that and all of a sudden you get into that cruise atmosphere, you relax a little bit. Sometimes things can get a little bit better, you know.

Speaker 1
Folks, you are listening to your next chapter, Senior Living. It’s brought to you, of course, by Avery Heights, along with Siobhan Mattingly. I’m Gary Byron. You can check out their website at AveryHeights.org. Siobhan, why is it so important to honor older adults like the Blue Zones do?

Speaker 2
Yeah, it’s kind of like what we talked about earlier. I mean, there’s so much wisdom there. And I think that we don’t do a good job of honoring that.

A lot of times we just want to put our older adults kind of, you know, in the corner or what have you. And instead of instead of making them more part of what we’re doing and, you know, they’ve lived, you know, such a long life. You know, when people in your 80s, you’ve lived 80 years.

You deserve to be honored. You deserve to be listened to. You deserve to be heard.

I think we were talking about earlier about kind of like the sages or older adults in many different cultures are honored. They’re seen as the, oh, let’s go see, you know, the wizard, the Wizard of Oz. He was old.

Speaker 1
What a treasure trove of knowledge they have.

Speaker 2
Yeah. Yeah. And it’s sad to leave that knowledge on the table.

I’ve had amazing conversations with older adults and learned so much. And just to calm down. You see, I’m like, I’m moving my hands.

I’m a hyper person. And, you know, older adults, sometimes they just slow you down. I’ve gone for strolls.

I’ve learned to stroll, you know, as I’m walking and I’ve learned to just, you know, if I’m walking with an older adult, I’m walking slower, you know, and I’m listening and I’m paying attention and it’s a wonderful break in the day.

Speaker 1
What is that? I’m trying to remember the volunteer organization. Is it SCORE? What is it where the former business?

Speaker 2
Oh, I think it is SCORE. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. It’s volunteer. I think it’s through the SBA.

SBA. That’s right. And I used that actually at the West Hartford Library.

They helped me redo my resume. And this gentleman, he worked for human resources. And let me tell you, for free, he redid my whole resume because he knew because he worked in human resources.

So, again, that’s that knowledge that we’re leaving.

Speaker 1
That’s my point.

Speaker 2
Oh, my goodness.

Speaker 1
Right?

Speaker 2
Yeah. And how to raise our kids. Why are we not listening to our older adults about how to raise our kids?

Speaker 1
Well, sadly, we’re living in a different era of technology that’s just changing rapidly.

Speaker 2
But just that basic wisdom, you know, you know, she’s not listening to me or she’s lying to me. They went through that. They raised us.

So maybe they’ve got a little knowledge in that. Maybe they know how to, you know, and I’ve, you know, my dad used to sit and talk to my son and such. And I used to be great, you know, and there’s something about an older adult talking to a young kid.

You know, they’re going to listen. They’re going to pay attention. They’re not going to have that little little sassy going on.

Speaker 1
I wonder, though, if there’s even that sense of family that you and I grew up in. There’s such different. Everything seems so fast-paced.

And people to make ends meet, they’re working second jobs. One kid is in Little League, and they’ve got practice, and they’re running around. And it’s like we’ve got to grab something quick on the way.

Where’s the family at the dinner table? I mean, and look, I mean, I don’t want to get off the path here. I mean, this is something we talk about on my morning show during the week.

Yeah. You know, is I think a lot of the problems that societal problems has is because there’s usually a parent missing or or like I was just saying, the stress of the of the every day, the fast paced lifestyle that many people are are living in. What do you think about how older adults are treated here in the U.S.?

Yeah.

Speaker 2
I just feel like in other cultures, a lot of times older adults are just treated with more respect. You know, older adults are cared for. Again, we seek their wisdom.

We celebrate. You know, we don’t celebrate getting old in the United States. You know, we’ve got cream.

Why is that? I don’t know. Because you’re right.

We’ve got creams. We’ve got running 50,000 miles just so that we can stave off getting old. And I understand now that I’m getting older, I’m like, oh, my gosh.

But then there’s a beauty about getting older. There’s something about someone – you look at people – I’ve known people obviously for friends for a long time. And there’s something about some of my friends that I knew in high school.

Now they were pretty in high school. But some of my friends, when I look on Facebook, they’re beautiful. Now that they’re older, there’s something about the aging of women and men that can be just amazing.

And we don’t honor that. We’re slathering. It’s not embraced.

And celebrities. It’s so sad.

Speaker 1
That’s what I was –

Speaker 2
Oh my gosh, it’s so sad.

Speaker 1
You look at these magazines and these movies and it’s like, oh, yeah, this person is – they’re really 72 years old and they’re like, 72? Man, I don’t even look that good at 52. Exactly.

Speaker 2
And it’s sad for celebrities in general too. Some of these celebrities that have really altered their bodies with plastic surgery and stuff and they just – it’s sad. Some of these really cute movie stars we knew growing up and it’s like you look at them now, they’re trying so hard to stay young.

And I’m wondering what they would have looked like if they just let themselves age gracefully. And I totally get it. We have so much pressure to stay young.

And I can imagine being a celebrity. So I’m not judging that.

Speaker 1
Because if they can age out of it, they’re no longer getting the big roles anymore. So there’s not judgment.

Speaker 2
It’s just true sadness that I feel that these are wonderful people. And they feel like they have to do all these nip and tucks and so forth just to stay young rather than just enjoying the beauty of our getting older and the wisdom that I have. I mean, I love being older just because of the things that I know.

Someone will say something. I think you were saying earlier about we were laughing and you were like, well, don’t take that personally. And I’m thinking, I’m not taking that personally because I’m older and I’m like, but back in the day, I’d be like, I’d drive in the car home and I’d be like, why did he say that to me?

I’d be in my head for like a day.

Speaker 1
We’re also living in times where everybody’s offended at everything. So I’m like, oh my, sometimes we could have the same conversation 10, 15 years ago and nobody would walk out offended. Now you look at somebody wrong.

I was like, what? What does that mean? I’m like, no, no, nothing.

What are you reading into something? But what is your thoughts on how we can change this perception of our seniors? How do we change it?

How do we begin that?

Speaker 2
I think we, and I love this for all ages, nonprofit. And I’m really, I’m meeting with them in a couple of weeks. And I’m so looking forward to that.

But we just need to incorporate with places like that. I think they’re, if you Google them, I think they’re located in West Hartford. Go to their website.

You know, definitely get involved in that. Listen, you know, be more available to people who are older. You know, sometimes you’re in line or something and that older person is moving a little bit slower.

Just stop for a minute. Say hello. Can I help you?

You know, whatever happens to can I help you with your groceries or, you know, if your neighbor next door, you know, my neighbor next door, I love her to death. But, you know, I have to stop. I have to stop and say hello and talk to her.

And, you know, I need to respect her because she’s an older, unheard of daughter. And celebrate getting older. Instead of these, you know, when you have your party, you know, I’m about to turn 60 in three years.

And I’m not looking forward to it because I’m sure it’s going to be like, you know, black streamers on the wall, tombstones, you’re over the hill, all these jokes about, oh, remember the radio? Whatever these things are, rather than just celebrating the fact that I’m older. You know, I can have pink and purple and yellow streamers and I don’t need a tombstone on the wall just because I’m turning 60.

Speaker 1
I find that a lot of our seniors, particularly those who have survived their spouse, are lonely.

Speaker 2
Yeah.

Speaker 1
And you’d be surprised on how far a hello or opening the door. Now, listen, you should open it just out of politeness. Heck, I open the door for other guys.

Yeah, you should. Of course. And there’s nothing to ever read into being polite.

Yes. But you’d be surprised on how far a hello is doing or, oh, wow, I like that such and such. You know, that’s a nice color.

I remember at a McDonald’s, a lot of seniors, they like McDonald’s. Yes, it’s affordable. Oh, yeah, it’s affordable. But they’ll just hang out there.

It’s like an hour later, they’re milking that small. It’s like, you know you got free refills, my friend, but whatever. I can’t drink too much caffeine, Gary.

You know, I’m milking it.

Speaker 2
I love your older adult voice. I love that. I have to come up with that.

Speaker 1
But I’ll just say something, you know, I’ll just say something about, you know, that hat that they’re wearing or something that’s like that. You know, oh, my goodness, I haven’t seen a hat like that. My dad used to wear a hat like that.

Let me tell you, did you get it at such and such? And before you know it, you’ve got a conversation that’s already started. They appreciate that.

Speaker 2
There’s a group at the Y. There’s a wonderful lady who actually goes to my church. She’s amazing. And she has started this little group at the Y. And that group, she basically, older adults will go, they have a table and they give away free stuff, mask and whatnot, or sanitizer because we’re in COVID age.

And they’ll go by the table and the people will sit and talk for a while. And they’re almost like, remember Lucy with the five cent booth and peanuts? Oh, yes, yes.

It’s almost like that. But they say now they have a line of people. And that’s something that, you know, we could start, you know, something.

Start that at your local Y where you sit and talk to older adults and give them a listening ear.

Speaker 1
I think you’re on to something. Folks, you’re listening to your next chapter, Senior Living, a presentation from Avery Heights. Folks, if you’d like some more information on this, and I can’t say I blame you, what I would suggest you do, like anything, is I would poke around the website.

So let me give that to you. It’s www.averyheights.org. And poke around there.

And then if you’re like most people, it’ll spark some questions. It’ll spark some interest. And that’s when I say be proactive.

At least get some of your questions answered. Write this phone number down. It’s 866-537-1449.

I’m going to repeat that and I’ll say it a little bit slower. I really want you to write it down and make the phone call. 866-537-1444.

For Siobhan Mattingly, I’m Gary Byron. Thank you so much for listening to your next chapter, Senior Living. a presentation from Avery Heights.

Until next Saturday, have a good one, everybody. So long. Legenda Adriana Zanotto